Don't Give Up (It's Just The Weight Of The World)
by RedTailedHawkens
Summary: Emma is about to give herself up to Gideon to save him and their family when an unexpected friend from the past saves her.


Author's Note: This one-shot is dedicated to Elisexyz, whose Swanfire one-shots inspired me to write this.

Disclaimer: Dialogue taken from 6x22 of Once Upon A Time

Don't Give Up (It's Just The Weight Of The World)

Emma holds the sword out as Gideon approached. Sorrowfully he tells her that nobody is going to save her. Welcome to my whole life rings through her brain, even though she knows it shouldn't. She had people now. She has people who would cross realms and face unspeakable dangers to save her. They would, but in the end, it has to be her, doesn't it?

He comes at her with his sword, and she deflects with hers. As they battle, she talks. She isn't sure why. Maybe it's fear masquerading as strength and wit like in those comic books Henry loves. Or maybe it's about what Regina said, about her finding another way.

"No one needs to save me; I'm The Savior."

What does that mean, she asks herself? Why is she doing this?

"Fighting for the people I love." She says, out of breath.

"Ultimately, I am a hero. I am hope. I am light!" there's an answer here, and she will find it, even if it means an insanely cheesy monologue. How can she save her family and save Gideon?

"And light cannot destroy darkness, it can only create more light. I will not kill innocents."

She doesn't want to kill him, this boy born so recently, this boy who should, by all accounts, be a baby still.

This boy who is Henry's uncle and Neal's brother.

There must be a way for them both to live.

"I will do what all saviors must; I will give hope."

There is a way, isn't there? There is a way for him to live and not be a murderer. "No matter what the cost." She drops her sword.

Killian calls out to her, but she knows her parents will hold him back. They are heroes, and they know what she's doing. Apparently, The Savior is a martyr. How biblical.

"I'm sorry, Emma," Gideon says, and she believes him. "I was hoping you'd save us both."

She smiles, letting him know it's okay. She forgives him.

He lifts his sword for the final blow and she waits for the end.

Then a force sweeps her aside.

Somebody tackled her. They picked her up, and now they're carrying her as they run. Not they. He.

Her parents must have not been able to hold Killian back. He has to understand. She has to do this.

She struggled until they both tumble to the ground and looks up, expecting to see Killian's fearful, sad blue eyes. Instead, she sees warm brown eyes and her heart stutters. She knows those eyes. She never thought she'd see those eyes again.

"Neal?"

* * *

"We gotta move." He says, grabbing her hand and starting to pull her back up. She stands but doesn't follow him.

"Neal? What? How? What? What are you - ?"

"Great questions and I swear I'll answer them, but now we've gotta go. Is the bug near here?"

"I … it's … you're dead."

"Emma, I get that this is … a lot, but Gideon is going to come after you and we really need to get out of here if any of us are going to -"

"No, it's … it's okay. I was sacrificing myself because he -"

"You can't sacrifice yourself, Em. That's literally the worst thing you could do, and not to get all caveman, but if you don't come with me, I'm literally going to have to throw you over my shoulder -"

"Neal!"

"Okay, so not that, but can we talk and run at the same time, at least until we reach the bug."

"My family-"

"Has a better chance of surviving if you come with me. And we don't have a lot of time."

Emma grunts in frustration, but she starts to run to where her car is parked, muttering that at least he didn't ask her to get a drink.

He chuckles, "I missed you too."

When they reach the bug, Neal heads for the driver's side, "What are you doing?"

"You can take shotgun if you want, or you can spread out in the back, but I need to drive."

Emma crosses her arms, "Why?"

"Well, do you know where we're going?"

Emma shakes her head and Neal starts to get in. "You could tell me."

"I'll explain once we're out for Storybrooke."

"Out of … my family is here! Henry is here!"

"Emma, please, I am begging you. Every second could be a second too long. There's a lot to explain, and I honestly don't know if getting us out of Storybrooke will even help us, but I know crossing the town line is our best bet. If you want to save your family, yourself, Henry, you need to trust me."

She wants to, but "I trusted you once." She doesn't even mean to say it. It just comes out.

Neal winces, and Emma feels guilty, "I know. I had your trust and I shitted all over it. I'll always regret that. But in this moment, right now, I need you to trust me like you trusted Henry." Emma's eyes widen, "You told me about how he brought you to Storybrooke, remember. You didn't believe him, but your gut told you to follow him, and then your gut told you to stay. I know you're glad you did. What I'm going to tell you in the car is going to sound crazier than a curse and fairytale parents, but trusting Henry paid off. What would he tell you to do? What does your gut tell you to do?"

After a fraction of a second, Emma got in the bug.

"I can't believe that worked." Neal half-laughs.

"You better not make me regret this Cassidy."

* * *

Emma holds her breath as they cross the town line. What there is no way back? What if she never sees her family again? What if she never sees Henry again?

But then she remembers, she was about to die a martyr. She wouldn't have seen them again anyway. Living with it will just be so much harder.

"All right. Start talking."

"I'm not sure where to start really."

"With answers. How are you here? How are you alive? I … I saw you die."

Neal nods, "I know you did. But you also didn't. That never ….actually happened."

"You better be going somewhere pretty impressive with this, because I just left everything I love behind on your word."

Neal nods, "I get that. Okay, look. Remember when Pan was going to cast The Dark Curse again, and my dad," he clears his throat, trying to sound normal, "my dad sacrificed himself to kill Pan and save us?"

Emma nods, "Of course."

"Well, that's the last real thing you remember."

"Could you stop talking in riddles and -"

"Pan couldn't cast The Dark Curse. It required crushing the heart of the person you love most, and that little bastard didn't love anybody but himself."

"Felix-"

"Was a follower. A sycophant. Pan thought it could work, but he didn't really understand love or the curse for that matter. It failed."

"No, it succeeded. You went back to The Enchanted Forest, and Henry and I -"

"That's how you remember it happening, but that's not how it happened. The curse didn't work like it was supposed to, but it was powerful magic. I opened up a portal to The Dark Realm. The Dark Fairy's realm."

"The Black Fairy."

"Whatever. The point is, she got through and found out her son had died. She was banished to The Dark Realm after turning dark, which happened because she was trying to save her son's life. Finally being free only for her son to have just died … well, let's just say she wasn't happy. And then she found out you were The Savior like my dad was supposed to be, and she but everybody, all of us, under an Enchanted Sleep."

"A Sleeping Curse? Again?"

"It's not a sleeping curse. Or, at least, not one your familiar with. We're all knocked out, dreaming dreams, and she's been manipulating what happens. What we do … you, you're mostly immune, being the Savior protects your mind some. She can control the circumstances but she can't _make_ you do anything. She whispered in your ear a lot when she convinced you you were The Dark One, but …"

"I was never The Dark One."

"Another scenario she set up. It didn't work out like she planned."

"What was supposed to happen?"

"From what I understand, you were supposed to stab yourself with Excalibur to get rid of the darkness, but then Killian did. Then you were supposed to switch places with him, offer to stay in The Underworld so he could go to the surface, or maybe, I don't know, stay down there to be with him. I don't know everything."

"How do you know any of it? How are we even having this conversation? I mean, if what you say is true -"

"It is."

Emma rolls her eyes, "And the past … year and a half has been a dream … has it really been that long?"

"More like a couple of months, from what I can figure."

"Wow. So none of that … I mean, none of it happened? None is true?"

"Not most of it. Regina does not have a half-sister who is actually the Wicked Witch of the West. Anna and Elsa are characters in a Disney movie that came out this year, but as far as I know, that's it."

"When did you have time to go to the movies?"

"I didn't. it's just kind of … everywhere. You'll see."

"So two friends of mine don't even exist?"

"I mean, there could be and Anna and Else, but If they're real, they're probably nothing like the girls you met. It's more likely that there was an actual Snow Queen in The Enchanted Forest, like in the Hans Christian Anderson story. I guess she could be Ingrid. Those are your memories from before, so maybe."

He shrugs, shaking his head at the absurdity of it, "Then again, they were returned via memory stone, so that could just be The Black Fairy messing with you. Lily was real, and based on your memories of her, I would be willing to bet she was actually born in The Enchanted Forest, but I have no clue who her parents are. Your parents certainly didn't steal Maleficent's unborn child to put your darkness in, not that that ever made sense. Besides, I'm pretty sure Maleficent is gay."

Emma's head is spinning, "And your dad?" She asks.

Neal is quiet for a minute, "Dead. He sacrificed himself for us. That really happened. I just never brought him back. I don't know if it's possible."

Emma put her hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry." Neal nodded appreciatively but didn't say anything, "So if he wasn't here with us, who was, you know … him?"

"I mean, she made a lot of people up. My dad, she didn't have to make up completely. She could go on people's memories of him. What sucks is that other than Belle, most everybody distrusts him. Hook hates him. The Black Fairy may have been his mother, but she never knew him, so she can only go on what they remember. And being that she is The Black Fairy, I doubt she'd take issue with a villainous son. Plus I think it served her purposes to have him as the bad guy. She needed to put you through shit."

"You didn't answer my question before. How come you know all this, and are here having this conversation with me?"

"I guess she thought it would be a good idea to kill me off early, you know, maybe push you over the edge? After that, I was kind of aware of what was happening. She couldn't wake me up, because I'd try to stop her, and I don't know why she didn't kill me. Maybe she thought she might need me again. So I was sort of watching it all unfold, and then she did need me again when you went to The Underworld."

"You came up behind me in the bug."

Neal nods, "She didn't let me remember everything. Confused me, you know. But then when she put me back down … it didn't quite take. I couldn't get up, because one wrong move and she'd just put me back under. So I waited, bided my time, kept paying attention to what was going on with you guys best I could. When you went into my dad's memories or thought you did, I learned why she was doing this. I also learned we had a friend in common." Neal smirked and Emma raised an eyebrow questioningly, "Tigerlily. She knew the players, knew the score and knew me from way back when. I just had to get a message to her. I waited for The Black Fairy to step out. You couldn't expect her to stay with us forever, even if time moves differently in her realm. I couldn't escape. I knew that. But getting a message out … she had magic stuff all around, and I did learn a thing or two over the years in Neverland. I contacted her, explained as much as I could in the time I had. She was in Neverland, which, contrary to Hook's journey in this dreamscape, has actually become a pretty peaceful, happy place now that Pan is gone."

"So that's where you are? In Neverland?"

"I can't tell you where I am. Where my body is, I mean. I've tried to pull your consciousness into mine to shield us, but she might still be listening, and her not knowing where my body is is the only thing we have going for us right now."

"But why is she doing it?"

"She wants to bring my dad back. He was supposed to be a Savior. That was true. She was also destined to kill one. She's worked it out, a way to trade you guys. You go, and he comes back."

"Then why not just kill me? You said it's been months, which seems a little elaborate if she just wanted me dead."

"She can't kill you. I mean, maybe she could, but it wouldn't get her what she wants. You need to sacrifice yourself. You need to be willing. That's how she brings my dad back."

Emma gasped, understanding dawning, "So when Gideon … but there isn't, I mean, he isn't …?

"Nope. I'm still an only child. So are you by the way."

"This is so unreal. And after the past few years, that's saying a lot."

"I get it. I thought I died and went to heaven, but apparently, life's not done with me yet." Emma laughs. She keeps laughing. "What?"

"It's just … you're alive. I mean, there's so much else going on, and I don't even know how we're going to get through this but … you really are alive, aren't you?"

He smiles, "I really am."

"That's good. I never wanted you to be dead … well, not since I found out the truth … or I guess Neverland. Wow, I really did want you dead a lot, didn't I?"

"I kind of deserved it. But maybe we can try to avoid either of us dying from now on?"

"Sounds like a plan to me. But what do we do?"

"Not die. I thought we just -"

"No about … this." She motions around them, "This dreamscape. Are we just driving until we reach Tallahassee?"

"I actually don't have a destination in mind. Hopefully, Gideon still can't cross the town line, but The Black Fairy can alter this world if she wants. I figure the best way to stay off her radar would be if we don't know where we are."

"But we can't drive around forever. Do you have a plan?"

"Well, not exactly. But I do think we need to wake you up. Tigerlily agrees. Once you're awake, you can take down The Black Fairy in person."

"How? All my magic lessons were apparently imaginary and I've been in a magical coma for months. What good would I be in a fight?"

"That's not the Emma Swan I remember." Emma growls, "We'll figure it out. She can't kill you."

"But what about everybody else?"

Neal shakes his head, "She hasn't killed anybody yet, and I gotta hope she won't. The only way to be sure is to attack her for real but … I'm just a guy with no magic."

"That's not the Neal I remember. Didn't you avoid Pan for centuries?"

"Avoid? Yes. defeat? No. That was all Papa."

Emma nods, "Well, we can hardly ask for his help. So what do we do?"

"We've gotta find a way to wake you up, to wake everyone. Tigerlily and I were working on ideas, and she still is, but I couldn't risk you doing something stupid and heroic while we were brainstorming, ya know?"

Emma laughs, shaking her head, "So, does this mean all Saviors aren't destined to die?"

"Not to my knowledge … which is fairly limited on the subject, granted, but still. I mean, I would suggest true love's kiss, but pretty much everybody who loves each other is unconscious so … "

"Hook." Emma says, realization hitting her, "We … we got married. We were true loves … was that … was that real?"

Neal let's out a long breath, "Honestly, I don't know. I mean, he definitely had a thing for you in Neverland." Emma nods at the memory, "And excepting maybe when you were The Dark One, all your choices were yours. But his … that may not all have been him. So I don't know. And the true love thing …"

"Never happened. He never came to New York to get me, never traded his ship for me." Emma shakes her head, "But, it could have been real?"

"Honestly, Emma, I'm not the best guy to have this conversation with."

Emma's eyes widen, "Oh. Right. Sorry. I didn't mean … well then. What about you?"

"What about me what?"

"To kiss me. To kiss me awake."

The car jerks and Neal narrowly avoids hitting another car. The driver honks and flips them off, but it's just a dreamscape, so what does it matter really?

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I mean … we were in love. Once. Maybe …"

"I guess I figured with everything with you and Hook … I mean, you did go to The Underworld for the guy. Plus, I don't think I could even get in there to get to you."

Emma grabs his hand, "I told you, I would have gone for you too. I didn't know I could. And just because I love Hook …. Maybe love Hook, or at least the version of him that exists in a dreamscape doesn't mean I don't still love you. I'll always … I mean, you were my first … first everything. And you're Henry's father."

"Henry would be the right person to kiss you. You know that, right? He makes the most sense. We already know you two share true love."

"Yeah, but he's asleep too. And Regina, and my parents. Everybody but you. Maybe this is why you woke up."

"I'd have to leave you alone in here, find my way back in there, fight past The Black Fairy, get to you, and then we don't even know if it would work."

"If you can think of something better, feel free to share with the class. If not … this might be our best option. Pull over." Neal complies, and they get out of the car.

Emma takes him in her arms, hugging him, smelling him "This feels so real."

"Dying felt real too, just in case you're curious."

Emma laughs again, "I'm trusting you. Find a way to storm the castle, maybe go to Storybrooke and The Enchanted Forest for reinforcements. Get back to the Dark Realm and try true love's kiss or find another way …. I'll keep working on it on my end, trying to find a way."

"What if I leave and then that's it?"

Emma shakes her head, "I don't believe it will be. I've seen too many miracles. Henry. My parents. You, alive. Go back to the land of the living and work on this. I trust you to bring us back."

"Quite a leap from you not being willing to get in the car with me."

"Shut up. I expect to see you soon."

Neal kisses her forehead. "Count on it."

She gets back in the bug, and Neal disappears. She swipes away the tears falling down her cheeks. She'll see him soon.


End file.
